RUN, RUN RUDOLPH

I first wrote this in 2005. A little dated, but still fun.

It seems Rudolph is in a bit of trouble this Christmas season. Word has it, according to the Reindeer Enquirer, that the other 8 reindeer are jealous of the red-nosed wonder. They fear he gets all the attention (and all the female reindeer) because of one body part that just happens to glow. The situation has driven Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen and Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen to take extreme measures. They have complained incessantly to the reindeer media and have demanded that reindeer congressional hearings be held to besmirch his heroic efforts. According to my sources, they've hired the reindeer underworld (think Tony Soprano with horns)to burn out his bright light and stop him from stealing their thunder. Plans are in place to poison his supply of feed just prior to his famous Christmas Eve traditional trip. They have experience at this, with one of the key reindeer involved in a bizarre drowning experience at Reindeer Cod many, many Christmasses ago. The 8 lazier, less ingenious reindeer plan to blame Santa for the seasonal sabotage. With the reindeer reporters and professors on their side, they will repeat their mantra, "Santa lied so Rudolph could fly" in hopes that it will invade the minds of those who already have visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. But we all know better. Santa is much too smart to let them succeed. And Rudolph's talents and his nose for hard work place him in the Right. And while he may have to endure the constant pettiness and bickering of the 8 reindeer who follow his leadership, eventually he and Santa will prevail and perform another Christmas miracle.